Once you and your spouse have made the decision to separate, you face a whole new set of decisions you must make.  If you have children, where will they live?  When will they spend time with each parent?  How will you afford their health care and extracurricular activities?  How will you divide your property and debts?  How will you divide your incomes?  But the first decision you face is who will help to guide you through this difficult time?  How will you make all of the decisions you need to make now that you are separated?

If you and your spouse are prepared to make decisions together, instead of turning these decisions over to a judge, your lawyer may recommend that you consider using the services of a mediator. 

A mediator is a neutral person, formally trained to help you and your spouse investigate what is important to both of you, identify the problems you need to solve, discuss information that you need to know in order to make decisions and agree on answers that are acceptable to both of you.  The mediator will work with you and your spouse to try to communicate with each other more effectively.

One of the advantages of mediation is it is a private and confidential process that you and your spouse can use to make decisions yourselves.

People who decide to use mediation still need to retain a lawyer to give them legal advice.  If the mediator you and your spouse choose is a lawyer, his or her job in mediation is to help you and your spouse make decisions, not to give legal advice.  Your own lawyer will provide you with the legal advice you will need to make informed decisions.

Even though the mediator you choose may be a mental health professional, the mediator will not provide either you or your spouse with marriage or personal counselling during your mediation.  If you want personal counselling, or you and your spouse want marriage counselling, you will need to meet with a counsellor.

Any time you hire a professional to assist you, it is important that you investigate your mediator's qualifications and experience.  Ask your lawyer or counsellor for a referral.  Before you begin your mediation, ask your mediator what mediation training he or she has taken and whether he or she is a member of the Alberta Family Mediation Society or Family Mediation Canada.  Ensuring your mediator has the proper qualifications, a professional license and professional insurance will increase the chances that he or she will be able to help you and your spouse to reach decisions that are acceptable to both of you.

Mediation is just one of the choices available to you and your spouse to make decisions about your divorce or separation.   See "did you know" for more information.

 

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